Monday, December 19, 2011

germs vs. katie

germs:
"hey katie. just thought i'd drop in."

me:
"well...uh...good gracious, i just wasn't expecting you, ya know?"

germs:
"i know right? it was really fun to hit you in the face like a brick wall in the middle of a party on saturday night. the best part was when you decided it was time to go home and you had to crawl up the stairs when you got home because you were so tired, even though it was only 10:30pm."

me:
"i don't really remember that being as great as you say....."

germs:
"nah, you've got it all wrong. you love laying in bed all day, thinking about all the productive stuff you could/should be doing."

me:
"i think i have a fever in my eyeballs."

germs:
"is that all you've noticed? i thought the ache in your ears would've kicked in by now. how about the sore throat? fatigue? noticed any of that?"

me:
"i'm hungry."

germs:
"good, because the only thing you have in your fridge is eggs and bread. you could make french toast..."

me:
"that's not funny. you know i've never successfully made french toast in my life."

germs:
"fine then, go to the store and buy healthy foods."

me:
"the public does not want to see me in this state."

germs:
"sure they do. also, it looks cold outside, you should bundle up."

me:
"....ok."



me:
"hey it's totally warm out here. i don't know what you were thinking."

germs:
"i just wanted to make sure you'd be uncomfortably warm for your entire solitary trip to the store. you know you're not supposed to wear striped socks with sweatpants and moccasins right? what an embarrassment."



me:
"...hey how come my car won't start?"

germs:
"you were supposed to get a new battery today, remember?"

me:
"i was supposed to go to work, too. now look at me."

germs:
"well it turns out your car will BARELY start, so fingers crossed your luck continues until you feel well enough to take care of that."

me:
"bah."

germs:
"hey as long as you're at the store, buy some nyquil."

me:
"i hate doing that when i'm sick. the braces + pajamas + no makeup = they always card me for being too young to buy nyquil. it's demoralizing."

germs:
"oh but such fun for me to watch."

me:
"fine."

germs:
"hey remember how your dresser is broken? and your car is a wreck? and you have like 50 things you should be doing? forget them all! go lay in bed and think about the fever in your eyeballs!"

me:
"no way. i'm totally going to fix my dresser. all on my own. with a hammer."

germs:
"nice try. you don't have the right kind of nails for that."

me:
"screw you, i'll tape it all back together."

germs:
"touche. now go back to bed."

me:
"but i....i...um...ok."

germs:
"good girl. i love it when i get to control your life."

me:
".....i still really want french toast."



p.s.
my dresser is totally back in working condition. 
held together by black electrical tape.
me = champion.

2 comments:

Elisabeth said...

SUPER adorable, girl!! I had stomach flu all day yesterday. My stomach was definitely having the same convo with me. :)

Elise Frederickson said...

I just died over this. SO funny. Also, I apologize for laughing at your pain, but GIRL, you are hilarious. I do hope you're feeling better though!