Friday, July 4, 2008


some things should never change.

let's talk about....coloring books. Somewhere between my crayoning-conneiussuer (wow, butchered that one...) days and the re-enlightenment age (of my life, not world art history...) some genius in the coloring book industry got a very BIG and very BAD idea....and started the horror we know as the "coloring AND ACTIVITY book" genre. Um, barf. When i want to color, i want to COLOR...not add numbers, not connect any dots, not unscramble words, not find Dottie's lost needle in the haystack....i want to wrap my little fist around the hue of my choice and shade with carefully constrained - yet appropriately reckless - abandon. I want large shapes. I want pictures. If i wanted to be educated, i would read a book that's meant to have words in it. Activities shmactiviminies....keep yo' educatin' to yo'self, Crayola Man.

However...some things should change. And have.

let's talk about...swimsuits. Particuarly, the article in the April 1983 New Era entitled "Choose the Right in Swim Wear." (Yes, the swimsuit edition of the New Era. Gasp!)
Cue the jaws theme music, overly-cheerful models donning Ferra-Fawcett-esque do's and frightening, striped, frilled onesies...oh how i wish you could see the pictures.

I quote:
"If the suit is white, it's a must to be lined. It can come as a shock when you come from a swim and discover that your unlined white suit has become totally transparent when wet."
"Whether you sink or swim, it's well worth your time to shop around until you find a suit that covers you modestly."
"Bikinis for boys are always a poor choice."
"Super-sized, sarong-tied scarves offer protection with pizzazz."
"Don't leave the fellows out of the fashion scene, for they can look and feel terrific in a handcrafted caftan just as easily as the girls." ( says, Caftan = a long garment having long sleeves and tied at the waist by a girdle, worn under a coat in the Middle East.)

Mmm...girdle, huh?

I think i will stick with swimming trunks and old-school coloring books. And how.

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