Thursday, March 31, 2011

a utah-ing i go!

it's that time again.

one of my two very favorite weekends of the year is upon us!

plane tickets? check.
friends i desperately need to see? check.
boots/scarves/sweaters that desperately need wearing? check.
plans to go to a roller rink with my besties? check.
much laughter and mayhem in the great white north? check.

anticipating spiritual upliftment? quadruple check.

in utah or not ... if your life needs some focus and direction ... i invite you to watch this with me to hear the inspired words of prophets.

i'll return to the blogging world sometime next week.
consider me on hiatus.

"Decide now to make general conference a priority in your life. Decide to listen carefully and follow the teachings that are given. Listen to or read the talks more than once to better understand and follow the counsel. By doing these things, the gates of hell will not prevail against you, the powers of darkness will be dispersed from before you, and the heavens will shake for your good." Elder Paul V. Johnson

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

noah and the whale

this makes me think of sailing ships and hammocks. mmmyesplease

(check out more of their stuff toward the bottom of my playlist.)

(found on this girl's lovely blog)

this is the last song that i write
while you're even on my mind
cuz it's time to leave those feelings behind
because blue skies are calling

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

you're a human sparkler, you are

i once saw a glorious greeting card with that blog title in it.

i couldn't find it online.
(translation: i tried for about 2 seconds and gave up. but i promise to find it in real life.)

this one is kind of close...

...except it looks kinda like dandelions.

in any case.

i just want to say happy happy beeday to my darling room-roomie.

surriously. what would a bunk bed have ever been without you?

also, let's focus on the following pictures (attractive or...less so...)

thanks for understanding ... everything ... always.
luff you!

"you didn't look like you were...struggling..."

Monday, March 28, 2011

the 4 pinnacles of commercialism

so we've already discussed my propensity to laugh abundantly about certain things.

in reference to advertising, certain commercials just get me.

so off the top of my head ... 4 commercials that never fail to make me laugh.

1. this one is actually MIA. it involves jack-in-the-box, a plump fellow with curly hair, and a yellow jack hat. oh, and curly fries. key quote: "because i'm jack. because of the hat." if you actually remember this commercial OR can find it anywhere online, you've just earned about 10,000 cool points (and also validated the fact that mahoorah and i didn't imagine its existence. i swear we didn't.)

2. "it's delux, son. DELUX. it ain't that hard."

3. (interruption) "...berries and what else??"

4. "THEY GOT A PEPPER BAR." (note: if you ever, at any time, sing this line to me in the appropriate voice, i will likely a) collapse in a fit of chortle, and b) forever reserve you a place in my heart. that is all.)

p.s. i've watched the 4th one 3 times since embedding it like 4 minutes ago. cannot be resisted.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

porque iglesia?

(found on flickr)

i had a thought-provoking convo with a friend this weekend about religion.

one of the topics we hit on involved the reason behind going to church every sunday.

i told him why it's so important to me.

and now, i am blogging about it.

so ... why church?

because i've been baptized.

and when i got baptized, i made promises to God. (the ones in 8-10)

and every Sunday, i participate in this to renew said promises.

because i mean them.
and i need God to know that.

and that is why i go to church. and why i will always go.
because these are promises i plan on always keeping.

happy sunday.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

"what do you have to write about? you're not oppressed..."

it's somebody's 29th beeday!

no, not that guy's.
but it is hers:


29 reasons why i love my mandysister...

1. she is really really funny
2. she's my best texting friend. much evidence here.
3. she always does great things with her hair
4. she's an amazing mother & i have much to learn from her
5. she's a very, very talented writer
6. she can sing like nobody's business
7. that one time she spat water at the dentist
8. the fact that i know the word "spat" just made her think of the word "shat" (sorry, um, censor...)
9. she ALWAYS remembers inside jokes & movie quotes ("YOUR SIZE")
10. she was the sole witness to that one time i got stuck in a laundry hamper
11. she rescued me from said laundry hamper
12. she always thinks my jokes are funny.
13. she's braver than she thinks
14. she loves her hubby very much & is always serving him
15. she always remembers my important events & asks me about them
16. she'll always read my really long emails about boys/life without skimming
17. she always sends me long, thought-out responses to said emails
18. she understands about the boot fever and
19. that one time she slapped a boy for tickling her
20. she lets me practice my child skills on her ninos
21. she names things after celebrities with me
22. that one time in the hotel room with Heavyweights on the TV
23. she's always striving to set goals & be better
24. she sees purpose and reason in everything
25. she understands about being tender and crying easily
26. case in point, she's maybe crying right now
27. she's my go-to adviser on all things healthy and hippie-related
28. that one time she lied to a guy about her ability to break dance
29. she always gives me the most thoughtful gifts, like this and (most recently) this

and there you have it. it was incredibly easy to compile that list, no lie.
and i didn't even get around to mentioning her polynesian dancing...

in any case, happy you-day, eldest sister! here's to your last year in the land of 20s!

Friday, March 25, 2011

mr. invisible

no, this is NOT a blog about clay aiken.

it's about a guy named liu bolin. he paints his body. then camouflages. no photoshop or trick photography here, kids.

can you say fascinating? (um, can you say ninja??)

(don't worry, the last one took me a minute too...)

Thursday, March 24, 2011

bibbidy bobbidy to the mattresses

(pic from Disney Clip Art)

maybe it's unorthodox or whatever, but i totes* want my kids to have godparents.

i have too many friends that will all end up being fake aunties anyway. so why not just call 'em godparents and avoid confusing my poor ninos about who their actual relations are?

now accepting applications. quantity limit TBD. quality limit a little more stringent.

this one already qualified, as mentioned in the following facebook status:
i finally formally asked Kelsey Anne Hodgson to be my children's godfather. her response: "i'd be honored. i'm quite manly anyway. i'll teach 'em to fish, ask for directions, and horse whisper." ...i knew i picked wisely.
maybe i should actually watch this movie or something to further educate myself. shrug.

*totes: the hip way of saying totally. best used with "sitch" and "detes," e.g. "i totes need the detes on your sitch!"

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

tales of a working girl

i started a new job recently, remember? well, sometimes funny things happen.

the following e-mail chain occurred last week:

From Dining Room Manager:
"Today I was informed that our Amish group of volunteers will be leaving."

My Reply:
"I'm not aware that we had an Amish group. I'm only seeing Most Holy Trinity on the schedule -- I'm pretty sure they're Catholic. Are you sure they're Amish?"

Reply from Dining Room Manager:
"No, it’s an Amish group. It might be under the name of a gentleman named Elmer. I don’t have a last name."

i have no idea why this was so funny to me. maybe it was the ominous tone of the first e-mail. "the Amish will be leaving..." or maybe it's the fact that they were never on the schedule. where did the mysterious Amish group appear the middle of Phoenix...? in any case, apparently they left.


also, yesterday the following very amusing happenstances occurred before it was even 10am:

1. my boss said to keep an eye out for his next appointment ... with an individual named Snake. i kid you not. but oh it gets better, because a) Snake is a woman, and b) Snake is an OLD woman. conservatively dressed, to boot. i can only imagine the origin of such a nickname. i tried not to make eye contact...

2. a volunteer opted out of serving in the dining room because he has a self-admitted problem with picking his nose, and realized the kitchen might not be the most appropriate place for him. i will refrain from making any comments except, "at least he's courteous about it."

stay tuned for more stories sure to come.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

and i was like baby, baby, baby...

it's time to admit that i really, truly like some of justin bieber's songs. i also like to use his name as a euphemism (e.g. what the biebs, goodgollygraciousbiebergosh, etc.).

sure, he's like 16 or something. but let's face it: his songs are catchy and the kid can move.

pair him with some country superstars and there's no reason not to love this little ditty:

and while we're on guilty pop pleasures...
she may be a bit of a nut job, but lady gaga's songs can be admittedly catchy.

which is why a legit cover is totally the best avenue for fanship in her case. you get the music minus the crazy.

here's one i l-o-v-e:

Monday, March 21, 2011

eez just ambiguous, really

early last summer, a certain boy and i spent a great deal of time at a certain drive-thru food establishment so i could get my fix of certain life-changing powerade slushies.

certain boy knew i hated it when my life-changing blue slushies were too watery. so as a joke one night, he had the following conversation with the hispanic-accented employee on the other end of the red button:

boy: "...and a blue powerade slushie. can we get that with less ice?"

(me in the background: "HEY...don't...")

accented employee: "...less ice?"

boy: "yeah, less ice in that one..."

(me hitting said boy on the arm: "stop it!")

(long pause)

accented employee: "...that's what a slushie eez..."

 (pic from blobtoblog)


fast forward a few months. out to eat at a mexican restaurant with new coworkers. random hispanic-accented server delivers bowls of soup to our table.

coworker: "hey, what kind of soup is this?"

(accented server shrugs dismissively.)

accented server: "ehhh...eez just soup, man..."


bon appetit, kids.

Friday, March 18, 2011

shopping + japan = yesplease

what better combo could there be than humanitarian efforts and the sale pages on forever 21?

on friday, march 18 (aka TODAY only) they are donating 100% of all online proceeds to japan relief.
every dollar.

total dent in my budget: $27

items added to my closet:

 (i love i love i love!!)

 (i've been determined to rock one of these dresses for awhile now.)

(because my grey hoodie shrunk. and every girl/boy needs one.)

most guilt-free shopping experience everrrrr.

go! partake!

you might think this blog is about a sweater but it's actually about dating.

chemistry was never my forte.
story: i used to have my friend tutor me in chem my sophomore year of college. my professor scared the jelly beans outta me so i wasn't prone to raise my hand when i had questions. anyway, my tutor had this really awful ugly sweater he wore to a party once. so i wore that frumpy masterpiece to my final for good luck, hoping to channel my friend's scientific prowess.

it looked like this one. except much uglier and lumpier.

(found on the fashion police)

fact: i got an A in that stupid class. i also got 2 bonus points on a lab once because my TA appreciated that i habitually drew a little star next to my name. he said i obviously had confidence in myself and should be rewarded.

well, this blog was supposed to be about dating chemistry. but then i got carried away.

so i'll let y'all take on Part B.

your topic: dating chemistry, aka sparks -- always initial for you, or do you think that kind of thing can grow?

(i won't tell you what camp i'm in on this topic. i want your thoughts.)

Thursday, March 17, 2011

kissing the blarney stone

in honor of st. patty's day...

i miss this movie & those of its genre:
(pic from imdb)
(but seriously, how could you not love a movie w/ the tagline "kid today, leprechaun tomorrow," and a plot summary of "a teenager must battle for a gold charm to keep his family from being controlled by an evil leprechaun." that's cinematic genius right there, kids.)

anyway. i want to own this:

and someday i'll find green heels. someday, someday.

it's just pretty great to have a holiday so focused on your favorite color. that's all.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

the laughter of...children...

fact: i tend to laugh at inappropriate times.

i also tend to have unexpected volume and variety to said laughter. (e.g. the squeaks. you can't predict those.)

second also, i often laugh at witty remarks/jokes about 4.7 sec (actual time still under examination) after most of the crowd has given their obligatory chuckle. i like to think this isn't because i'm slow ... i'm just giving the wit the full amount of processing it requires before a real, deserved chortle.

third also, i often find humor in things that, apparently, no one else does.

like that one time we watched a dramatic video about Safety in the Workplace and i giggled about the scene with barrels falling off a truck into a totally empty parking lot. i stifled the first giggle, but when they showed those oh-so-violent barrels again in slow-mo it just bubbled up out of me. (note: i was new on the job and no one else was laughing. what boring lives they must lead.)

and there was that other time in church when they announced the ham radio classes taking place in response to a high demand for this particular skill.

and i laughed. loudly. just me.

really guys. what isn't funny about ham radio classes being in high demand?

you know what else is funny? i spelled "ham" as "hamn" just now, and now i think i want to use it as a swear word from now on. HAMN.

and now here i am. laughing at my own typo and joke. you see what i mean?

...can we say it's endearing and not obnoxious?

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

must. own.

(from MySoti)

i once had a roommate who made a shirt that said "make out, not war." she was a bold one.

Monday, March 14, 2011

textersation sensation

what a delightfully rhythmic little title.


occasionally i get epic texts from people that my sense of humor insists on saving. occasionally when i get bored, i scroll thru my saved texts and have a hearty, private laugh with myself.

so just to let you in on the joke, the best from the past year:

reebs, may 24, 2010
"so many young professionals at the chipotle by my work. i really feel a part of this culture now, minus the beer pong and random sex."

mandysister, june 2, 2010
(context: discussing a certain long-haired 90s boy band)
"do you think they go to any family reunions where they are not made to mmm-bop while their burly cousins snarl in their direction?"

mandysister, june 26, 2010
(context: the drunk-driving episode of SBTB)
"i always remember feeling ill at ease about that episode. and uncomfortable when zack and his dad have a moment at the end. at least it was before the time of teen pregnancy run amok. hmmm....would it have been lisa? no no it would have been jessie. and slater's family would have relocated to avoid shame. and jessie's dreams of attending columbia (was that it?) would be shattered and she would have a breakdown during which zack would reflect back on their childhood and promise to help her raise her baby."

chantallion, july 14, 2010
"so i go to make a quick afternoon run for some herbal tea; a desperate attempt to keep awake the rest of the work day. i'm standing in line and this hippie guy starts chatting me up, right as its my turn to order this is what was said: 'i feel good about this. like, we should get married, have 3 kids and an herb garden.  i will hang one of those tree swings in the front yard where we'll kiss as we watch the children grow. what do you say?' my reply: 'i'm sorry lets start off with names, i'm chantal and i'd like to order my mango tea to GO!'"

k sparks, july 26, 2010
"sorry. butt call. haha."
(note: no phone call actually occurred.)

mandysister, august 11, 2010
"i am addicted to garden salsa sunchips to the point where it's so sad it is inappropriate to joke about it. like when britney shaved her head."

papanwa, august 12, 2010
(context: i'd just applied for a job at an episcopalian school)
"i would pray for u but i don't know if i should pray to the mormon deity or the episcopal deity."

katie lee, august 17, 2010
"why does this happen to us! my whole life i have had a deep relationship with dairy and now it's breaking up with me in a very violent way!"

blake gray, sept. 11, 2010
(context: he left milk in our fridge)
"well get to know him. he spends most of his time accompanying enchiladas, helps mitigate heated moments with hot sauce, and has the potential to become a flan. play some bachata music, he opens up with that."

reebs, dec. 11, 2010
"patience and a crap load of shiz is usually a combo that leads to something great ... you deserve THE BEST. we are talking moroni meets taylor lautner."

kels, dec. 22, 2010
"overheard a mom talking to her daughter: 'ya, we need to let him out. turtles need to run.' ...i'm left wondering, is my whole life a lie?"

kels, dec. 31, 2010
(context: a superfluity of hot guys at subway)
"grab me a cold cut trio and a brunette with blue eyes."

androo, jan. 25, 2011
"i have ur jew cd. not to be confused with: i have your cd, jew."

rustin, jan. 28, 2011
(context: see the movie UP if you haven't)
"true story: yesterday my friends met a transexual named kevin. the first thing i said to them when i heard about it was: kevin's a girl??"

reed, feb. 3, 2011
"with you and justin timberlake, anything is possible."

mandysister, feb. 22, 2011
(context: she meant to say hours.)
"sounds like you had a crummy last 24 he's."

androo, mar. 9, 2011
(context: i told him i think my security guard is a pirate)
"i've already looked into irvin. he's clean with the exception of a gap sweater that he stold in '93. and he cheats in shoots and ladders."

Sunday, March 13, 2011

walking on water

on this lovely sunday...

one picture:

one thought from Patricia T. Holland:
"When Jesus called Peter to come to Him across the water, Peter, for one brief, glorious moment, forgot he did not know how and strode with ease across the sea. This is how we are meant to be."
and one from her husband, Jeffrey R. Holland:
"God is anxiously waiting for the chance to answer your prayers and fulfill your dreams, just as He always has. But He can't if you don't pray, and He can't if you don't dream. In short, He can't if you don't believe."
(the 2nd quote found via this fella's blog. you should probably read the whole blog entry, because maybe you need to hear it like i did.)

Saturday, March 12, 2011


i've been in the kind of mood lately that makes me want to (attempt to) perform a cartwheel on a grassy lawn somewhere, execute a graceful heel-click and then raise my arms toward the sky and yell something unintelligible somewhere in the gray area between a chortle and a holla.

possible reasons:
the weather turning warrrrrmer
therefore, spring feverrrrr
spotting the easter pageant stage on the temple grounds
friends. family. all the usual goods.

i am positively glowing, my friends. i feel like the world is one big, adventurous oyster waiting to happen.

(and i'm giving a lot of credit to this list and this little adventure.)

(photo taken in Provo in '09 by my dearest aussie-talking porch-swinging mr. bagley)

Friday, March 11, 2011

let's table this.

it's time to talk about furniture.

namely, my aversion to the fancy kind. leather furniture is probably the worst thing that ever happened to comfort. and all-matching furniture is probably the worst thing that ever happened to an inviting room. stale. stale. stale. (does that statement count as negativity?? it's more like...a fact from my head...)

the point is. i plan to never have matching furniture. i'd be ecstatic if none of my kitchen chairs ever even match. i'll just pick and choose beauties i find at thrift stores and call it a happy day!

although i'd never pay this much for any piece of furniture without throwing up in my mouth a bit, here are examples of things that catch my eye:

(i'll one-up you, anthro, when i find stuff just as good without spending my life savings. got my eyes peeled.)

and just for kicks, i want this. but maybe with a different shade.
(from dascheap)

Thursday, March 10, 2011

pixie dust

i truly think i found my niche in life when i dressed up as a garden fairy last weekend and helped out at my niece's 6th beeday party. i was in charge of bracelets. turns out i'm pretty skilled with pipe cleaners and beads...

note: in retrospect of the weekend, i probably had a fever this entire time. (remember?)

in any case. draw some conclusions about me passing on germs to the childrens and enjoy these pictures by my lovely sister bonnie jean.

those potted wonders? they're totally cupcakes. my sister mandy is a creative culinary master. it's pretty awesome how thrilled a bunch of 6-yr-olds get about eating "dirt."