Thursday, June 28, 2012

brown paper package tied up with string ▲

a story in which i am reminded of the goodness of humans.

so remember when i blogged about nerdy literature?

well that blog spurred an email convo with a girl named jael.
she blogs over at jael loves.
...her blog has chevron stripes.

jael and i knew each other back in the freshie years of college.
we've vaguely stayed in touch since then,
just via facebook or blog world or whatevs.

so imagine my surprise...
when this darling girl MAILED ME A BOOK.

all the way from arkansas!

and not just any book,
but her FAVORITE fantasy book...

and she wrote me a nice letter,
the beginning of which says:

Dearest Katie:
There are, in this world, people who would prefer to receive a new book as a gift, rather than a used one. I doubt that you are one of those people. So I am sending you this book. Please keep it, it is yours.

well if she doesn't just have me all figured out.
and it came on a day when a surprise package in the mail was everything i ever needed.
ok maybe i got teary eyed a little.

and how much can i not get over the brown paper & string?

magic. simply magic.
and now i want to send someone a book in brown paper & string.

these are a few of my favorite things,

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

mansoon season.

yes, mansoon.
another applicable word would be manvalanche.

so here's the thing...
this is the bubbly:

now, one of my roommates obtained a bottle of said bubbly around christmastime.
we said to ourselves,
let's save it and drink it when something exciting happens!
(e.g. a date or other such goods)

3 months later...
poor bubbly had collected much dust.
it was a symbol of sadness and singleness, it was.

then there was a small hiccup of activity,
and we partook of the bubbly.

as the rules go,
the roommate who experiences the exciting event that spurred the drinking of the bubbly must purchase the next bubbly.

but would it be another 3 month wait?
would we all be kept so dateless as the long, bleak winter?

well you know what they say about raining and pouring...
let's just say,
there's been a whole lotta cause for bubbly up in these parts.
perhaps the summer sunshine is driving them boys into a frenzy?

i wish i could share our juicy stories.
but the public internets is no such place.

perhaps you will get the stories someday,
if anything long-term pans out for any of us.

in the meantime,
go get yer own bubbly.
highly recommended.

we found love in a hopeless place,

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

home decorduroy

you know, there's actually nothing corduroy in this post.
i just liked the sounds of the word decorduroy.
ok and i really like the way actual corduroy feels.

so not to be all pinteresty, but...
i do love me some home decor.

here's some favorites i've pinned along the way
and yes, pinned.
not pined.
not pining.
because those words mean something different.

internet grammar rant = over

on to the goods!

i think that last pic is pure eclectic perfection.
and antler chandeliers are my current obsession.
and you know, animal stencils.

see the rest of my home decor board here.

and share your pins with me, por favor!
i need more things to pin.
not pine.

pine cones,

Monday, June 25, 2012

i've done it!

fist pumps!
finger snaps!
booty shaking!

yes kids,
my problems have been solved.

and now you can follow my blog over there to da right.

thank you to ansel leigh for the wisdom!
would totes link to her blog if google thought she had one.
speak up if you're there, ansel!

and surriously,
i should have been able to figure that out on my own.
turns out the gadget is actually called "followers."
who would've thought.

oh well.
monday brain.
blonde hair.
i promise i'm decently intelligent.


finger snappin' like it's west side story up in here,

teach me how to dougie. i mean blog.

so, surriously,
i tried and tried to conquer this myself.

but apparently i am slightly blog illiterate.

i know i've got readers out there.
i know that i've got some followers.
my stats tell me so.
thanks for the ego boost, blog stats!

how do i add one of those "follow" buttons?
like google friend connect?
except i think GFC died a couple months ago?
and i just need some sage advice?
and this is a lot of question marks?

ok that's all.
blogger friends, please impart your wisdoms.
comments welcome, as are emails:

if i like you i might keep emailing you, though.
just be warned.

also, i feel like this picture is relevant:

i would actually accept the dougie lessons as well,

Saturday, June 23, 2012

kickstarter my heart.

heard of it? it's an online crowd-funding site.

basically, you share a good idea.
then people give you moneys if they dig your idea.

i was looking at the categories on the site,
and i thought to mineself,
what would i invent in some of these areas?

and thus i decided...

given that i can't act, i think a silent film is my best bet for this one.
i think it might involve sock puppets.

an entire CD of my rubber-band shoe-box guitar compositions.

a romance about the redhanded bandit and the caped crusader.
and by that i mean a romance about me and christian bale.

well, it would involve this move and this move, that's for sure.

all fashion i design would include sequins.
and spandex.


ok so i'm thinking maybe a video game about a short overalled man with a moustache who can throw turtle shells and is trying to rescue a princess...?
wait, what do you mean it's already been done.


i'm pretty sure it would involve me singing show tunes and shimmying across a stage for a couple hours.
details are fuzzy aside from that.
it'd be something like this:


would you donate to any of these killer ideas?

and what would YOU be prone to inventing?

also, let's look at the sock puppet one more time:

thomas edison ain't got nothin' on me,
freelance blogging for JacksonWhite Attorneys at Law.

Friday, June 22, 2012

videos of joy.

fridays are meant for happiness.

and this video is one big serving of delicious happiness:

...i watched it thrice.

and if you love you some baseball like i do,
then go here for more happiness.
and for some goosebumps.

and while we're at it, you should probably watch this too.
be sure to read the video description. it made me giggle.
then do some inspirational chanting.
and slow clapping.

i think it's time for me to stop writing.
and stop crying about that Rudy clip.

your favorite videos of the week?

friday brain,

Thursday, June 21, 2012

confession: nerdy literature


it's true...
i love me some sci fi novels.
and fantasy novels.
the kind with pictures of ships and knights on the front.

now, i know i'm not the only one.
and i know i'm not as deeply entrenched as other enthusiasts i've met.

for one, i don't go to comicon.
no wait, i actually spied on phoenix comicon this year:

those white pants were real nice.

i love getting lost in nerdy books.
it all started when i devoured the redwall series as a child.
you'll seriously be my hero if you've read it too.


i love the camaraderie of finding another geeky reader.
it gives me insight into a person's soul, it sure does!

the downside of such novels?
well, other than losing sleep from reading too much,
these books are huge.
like, the books themselves are ginormous.

the good news is, if you hate the book,
it can double as a cinder block.

the bad news is,
how do you tote that thing around discretely?

answer: you don't.

and will it fit nicely on my bookshelf with my collection of YA fiction, children's lit and contemporary novels?

answer: no. no it won't.

i recently discovered that you can get bona fide lockers built in your home.
say whhhhat?

i never had a locker in high school.
i always felt like i was missing something, since i'm pretty sure there was a pivotal locker scene in every high school chick flick...ever.

...except my "pivotal scene" may have been the type where the lead girl gets hit in the face by a locker, given my track record.

i think my high school had too many students to fit lockers anywhere.
plus i think there was some mass conspiracy to screw up all our young spines with heavy backpacks and thus garner money from scoliosis treatment and sales of rolly backpacks.

ok i didn't really think that.

but i still want a locker in my bedroom.
it'll look real nice with my countryshabbyrusticfluffernutter dresser, right?

what are your secret literary passions?
Ender's Game forever!

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

the redhanded bandit.

see the title of this post?
given my recent mishaps with red dye,
i have officially adopted that nickname for myself.

except for the part about being a bandit.
but i guess that depends how you define bandit.

in any case,
the situation has improved greatly since yesterday:

thanks to sally's beauty supply and some professional hair-dye remover.

baby steps back to normalcy, eh?
baby steps like this:


when i took my walk of redhanded shame into sally's yesterday i fully expected them to reprimand me and/or laugh at my plight.
kids, that lady didn't even bat an eye!
she looked at my hands and said,
"honey, i've seen it all."

in contrast, i think i freaked the walmart cashier out later.
i saw her staring, i did!

i'm going to play frisbee with a new crowd tonight.
i fully expect to terrify them with my rogue phalanges.

swashbuckling the high seas and such,
katilda the redhanded bandit

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

that time i dyed my hands red.

this is the end of the story:

and this is the story:

first, no i didn't murder anyone.

it all began when my friend amy wanted a red streak in her hair.
and i said, "i can do that!"
and i can.
and i did a good job, hammit.

...except for the part where i said,
"there's still bleach on these gloves, i can't use them to do the red dye."

and thus i said,
"i'll just use my hands! i'll only touch the dye for like 30 seconds."

and i did.
and well...

please refer back to the picture above.

i've tried:
shampoo, dish soap, exfoliating body wash, toothpaste, baking soda, apple cider vinegar, nail polish remover, voo doo magic...

no dice, kids!

and thus i look like i've murdered someone.
and it may appear this way for a couple weeks.

the best part is that a litttttle bit of red dye comes off my hands every time they come in contact with a cleaning agent.

and thus this morning i realized,
"i can't shampoo my blonde hair or it will turn pink!"

and thus i found myself kneeling over the bathtub,
while my blessed roommate washed my hair for me.

and i giggled the entire time.

also, please don't ask about the 80s garb and side ponytail.
that's another story.

OJ Simpson hands,

movie review: moonrise kingdom

you guys know i've been excited about this film for some time now.

so when it came to scottsdale a couple weeks ago,
you best believe i hit that up on opening night!

what i liked:
the soundtrack
the cinematography
the costumes
the deadpan line delivery from all the child actors
the general charming quirkiness
bill murray
bruce willis

what i didn't like:
there was an awkward beach scene that i could have done without.

but can we get back to bill murray?
i just love him and always will.
enough to dress up as him for halloween that one time.

moonrise also has some funny moments regarding what it might be like for two lawyers to be married.
i don't know if it's accurate, i haven't tried it.
being a lawyer, that is.
or being married to one.
though i have dated a couple.
i don't remember them being like bill murray.
this girl might not be single if they had been, yo. off topic.
the point is!
if you need to get your quirk on,
go get some moonrise kingdom in your life.

have you seen it? whatdyathink?

"was he a good dog?" "who's to say? but he didn't deserve to die."


Monday, June 18, 2012


for papa's day yesterday i decided to make mint brownies...

[recipe here, sub mint extract instead of peppermint & minus the nuts]

look how lovely they are!

and my mandysister whipped this masterpiece up...

look at us go!

speaking of my cake-baking mandysister,
she texted me this picture this weekend:

because, seriously, that's a funny movie.

she also posted this photo on my facebook wall yesterday:

you know, i don't get it either.
and yet i love it, of course.

case of the monday randoms,

Saturday, June 16, 2012

you're not special.

by now, most of you have probably seen the following video floating around the internets.
if you haven't, take 12 minutos and check it out.
otherwise, proceed past the video to further discussion.
hey, this is like a choose your own adventure blog.

so, here's my favorite parts:
  • "The Baltimore Orioles do better than weddings."
  • Today's generation is used to instant validation, e.g. "hundreds gasp in delight at your every tweet."
  • "The universe has no center, therefore you cannot be it."
  • Too many people are willing to compromise their standards if it earns them recognition and fame.
  • "Wisdom is the chief element of happiness."
  • "I urge you to do whatever you do for no other reason than that you love it and believe in its importance."
  • "Love everything you love, and everyone you love, with all your might. And do so, please, with a sense of urgency."
  • Carpe the heck out of the diem.
  • "Climb it so you can see the world, not so the world can see you."
  • "Selflessness is the best thing you can do for yourself."

i could probably elaborate for ages about many of the above, but i will resist on the moral grounds that a blog should not be
10 pages long.

i will point out that the Baltimore Orioles joke was huh-larious and i didn't hear nearly enough laughter from the audience. 
what, no baseball fans in the crowd?

what about you? your favorites?

viva los orioles,

Katie Hawkes is a freelance blogger for JacksonWhite Attorneys at Law.

Friday, June 15, 2012

helen keller textersationing

i like the word textersation, that's no secret,
but i decided i like the verb form, textersationing, as well.
because it sounds like vacationing.
and that's always a good feeling.

speaking of vacationing,
southwest airlines did me a solid this week and had a sale.
i love me some southwest sale prices.

and so,
i spontaneously planned a september trip to huntington beach.
texted a few ladies and told them, essentially,
"i just bought plane tickets, go get yours."

one of my besties responded with the following amazing typo:

this vacation just gets better and better.

deaf frickin goodness,

Thursday, June 14, 2012

craigslist: headboard fail

there is a reason i absentmindedly peruse craigslist.

reasons such as the following headboard.

because, savvy craigslist users know that when you can't be bothered to take a quick picture of the headboard you're selling....draw one.

it's best if your drawing looks like a turtle, i think.

good luck with that,

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

when your heart says bear, choose the bear.

it all started innocently enough.
wait, no it didn't.
it started with me dragging my decrepit old dresser to the curb after fixing the broken drawers for the 500th time and kicking it resolutely before lighting it on fire and heading back inside with my middle fingers in the air.

some or most of that story might be false.

the point is, i was left with a large helping of validation but without furnishment in which to store my clothes.
and left wondering if "furnishment" is really a word.

then my parents offered me this ikea treasure fo' free:

clearly, i decided it needed some stencil bedazzling.
and the floral, artsy stencils just weren't speaking to me.
but then...

and you know, from there i branched out to...

and then the blessedheavenlydroolonmyself knob aisle at hobby lobby was all "hey girl hey come check me out"...

and then i felt it necessary to slap some asymmetrical stripes on the top...
oh hey there, good lookin'...

and thus a new day of furnishment has dawned.
i like to call it shabby country modern bieber rustic chic eclectic...explosion.
whatever it is, i love it ohsomuch.

redecorating like a boss,

check out more of my home decor handiwork here, here and here.

writing: feb 2012

i think the hardest part,
is we both know i'm braver than this.
and the second hardest part,
is the "we both know" part.

doing a week of writing! see monday.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

writing: june 08

yesterday i stumbled across a a plethora of old things i'd written,
and i thought, time to share!

so here's to a few days of honest-to-bieberness writing on the ol' blog.

plus a picture of yesterday's melted fishtail braid,
which i think made me look like a gypsy.

let's dance in style, let's dance for awhile.

i liked you for 7 days.
you played old songs on your guitar.
it was hot outside.
i melted in more ways than one.

i liked you for 7 more days.
you said you would call.
and you did call.
and then you didn't.
and you know, i never figured out why.

and i wish i had asked you why.

and i had to stop liking you, not much later.
but that month in June,
that one will always be yours.

heaven can wait, we're only watching the sky.


Monday, June 11, 2012

craigslist: failed hipster ▲

it's no secret,
i love me some hilarious craigslist posts.
such as this one.

and this one...well...
i bolded my favorite parts.
yes, bolded is now a word.

I tried so hard. I dated a girl from Portland. I criticized cheese. I applied the term artisanal to every inanimate object that went in or on my body. I burned and singed my forearms just to make it look like I was going to culinary school. I grew Carol Brady hair. I got itchy from the finest flannel and I cut off circulation from the waist down with jeans that made my butt look like an elevator button. 

. . .And I rode a fixie. 

No more. It's all gotta go. The hair, the macrame, the texting overages, the Netflix and Hulu Plus. The record collection (have you ever tried to box up and move an effin stack of LPs?!) . . .and the bike. Pictured below is the bike. It's beautiful. It's got red rims. Red chain. Red tires. Red handlebars shaped like devil horns -- because it's the devil. 

The guys at the hipster store don't tell you fixes don't stop. So I will. Fixies don't stop. Stop sign? Fixie don't care. Car coming turning in front of you at a three-way stop? Fixie laugh. Want Chipotle? Nope. Fixie want protein powder/beet/purple carrot/bee pollen juice and won't stop till he gets it. Fixie has a mind of his own.

Yesterday, Fixie got pulled over twice by SLO PD in three hours. In six months time, Fixie collected more tickets than a scalper for a Radiohead show at Hollywood Bowl.

I'm selling this badboy and tipping the dregs of my last PBR tall boy in his memory.

The (Devil) Fixie: 
Cinelli Gazzetta Frame (2011)
Crane Creek and Origin 8 components

$1,100 ($1,600 new)