Thursday, December 22, 2011

the first half of a chick flick.

sometimes my life is kind of like a chick flick...

but, you know, the first half of the movie.
all them awkward parts.

i've seen enough of this genre to know that i've racked up enough first half encounters to have earned myself some kisses in the park and dramatic wedding crashing moments by now.

in any case,
here's this week's winning first half moment:

it is rather late on a weekday night
i potentially have a fever
[can't kick those hooverdam germs!]
my dear roommate needs a ride from the airport
fact: my car's interior is atrocious
we're talking UH.TRO.SHISH.

so i make a half-hearted attempt to consolidate all my junk into one neat tower in the back of the car
i drive a CR-V, so there's no trunk, just an open back space
no secrets here, baby!

i drive to the airport
and discover that said roommate has brought home her verygoodlookingbrother for the holidays
i am duly embarrassed by my tower of things
apologize profusely
and all seems mostly well, until...

i have one of those uncertain moments with a yellow light
decide to go for it
speed thru a left arrow
and in the process of said very-fast-left-turn...
the tower comes a-tumblin'

and all my car's random treasures are now intermingled with the luggage of my roommate and her verygoodlookingbrother.

upon arriving at our place,
i rush to the back of the car to salvage the damage
but alas,
roommate & verygoodlookingbrother are witness to my avalanche

and we're not talking normal stuff, here.

items of note include:
cans of sliced peaches
my "missing" hair straightener
2 bottles of sparkling cider
a can of soup
a pair of batman boxer shorts [don't ask.]
a belly dancing kit [again with the not asking.]

for serious you guys.
i think the first phrase i uttered was,
"i'm a disgusting human being. don't judge me."

this is when i go eat brown m&m's by a tree in the park and wait for fate to step in, right?

hey, if it works for J. Lo, it works for me.

oh, i did indeed later confirm that i had a fever.
[i really should stop doing things when i'm in that condition, case in point.]

hence, i work from home today...

i also don't know how to make attractive blogging faces.

i think i missed the memo about red lipstick, thick-framed glasses, and standing perpetually pigeon-toed and leaning forward with either my lips pursed or my mouth half-open in an alluring smile-laugh.

but fuzzy ponytail, oversized mango shirt and dark circles da size of texas due to no-makeup-at-all is a good second choice, right? right.


The Ballard Family said...

Katie. This post made me laugh after what has possibly been the most frustrating early afternoon ever. I have been grumpy and my kids are all looking at me guiltily (as their actions have inspired said-grumpiness) and half-avoiding me. Just now, reading this, I burst out laughing two separate times and now they are no longer as wary of me and James wants me to tell him what Aunt Katie said that was so funny. Explaining that story to a five year old makes it even more funny. His eyes got really big and eyebrows shot up when I told him that your tower of trash and things fell on your friends brother. Then he laughed. And now I think that our afternoon is looking up. I love your stories.

Kristin said...

lol. i really like you Katie. a LOT. Next time I see you in person I WILL be asking about the belly dancing kit. lol. what exactly is included? made my night!

Unknown said...

Again, with the dying. Seriously, you never cease to make me laugh. And, I'm not asking, but just know I'm suuuuper curious about the belly dancing kit.

Kim said...

A very good choice indeed. I LOVE YOU! Great story. Great life!

karajean said...

I love this. And the picture at the end. Who needs pigeon toes and fake glasses, anyway?

Crystalee said...

Ok, LAUGH OUT LOUD! Love this scenario, and love that I'm not the only one who struggles with piles of youknowwhat in the car. At my lowest point, my dad found my two-week stash of bananas in my trunk I forgot to bring in after grocery shopping...And I'm saved by the fact that I married someone who's at least 27.65 times more tidy than I am.

Once again, I'm thrilled at the serendipity that brought us together. You really do fill a funny void that I used to a hole. ;)