Friday, August 27, 2010

it's in the genes

concrete evidence that, yes, i am definitely related to this little goober:

art in its finest, freest form.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

it's not me, it's you

i've recently discovered some eerie similarities between the job hunt and the dating hunt. (can we call it a hunt for analagous purposes?)

my observations:

The First Date vs. The First Interview
- you dress for success.
- you might get nervous in the days/hours/minutes before.
- you mentally review everything you do and say.
- you mentally review everything they do and say.
- you try to find that elusive balance between "good eye contact" and "creepy staring."
- it may possibly end w/ a handshake, which may tell you a lot about your chances.

The Followup
- do you call them?
- do you wait for them to call you?
- you make your roommates tell you five times whose court the ball is in. then you disobey them and regret wearing the pants when you maybe shouldn't be.
- you make really dumb sports and clothing analogies about the entire situation.
- you wonder if it's annoying or persistent to seek them out on any and all social networks. will they admire your proactivity or label you a stalker?
- you cherish every glimmer of possibility and maybe write about it in your journal.
- ...and maybe you blog about it.
- you tell yourself, "it's only monday. people make important calls on tuesdays."
- on tuesday you repeat that mantra about wednesday. and then thursday. and then september.
- you jump every time your phone buzzes. you "nonchalantly" check your phone every 5 min in anticipation.
- you put off making other plans (e.g. another date or another job) because you need to stay available.

The Bonuses if All Ends Well
- you get to change a facebook status.
- you immediately text all your peeps when you get good news.
- you mentally remind yourself not to use the word "peeps" in front of your boss or your beau.
- your financial situation changes significantly.
- you realize things may result in some legal paperwork and a long-term commitment.

i could probably go on, but...

am i right, or am i right?

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Miyagi have hope for you

Evidence that my brother married the coolest girl EVER...
She gave ME a present for HER birthday:

I doubt I will ever wear anything else. ever. again. This shirt pretty much sums up....EVERYTHING....i need to convey to the world.

Don't worry, I got her a present too:

Monday, August 16, 2010

holy creepimony

why I wish the married man in the deli would stop hitting on me…

(the following examples include months of awkward small talk on days when i run out the door w/o my lunch and hafta buy something downstairs.)

last week:
He: oops, i accidentally ran your card as credit.
I: that’s ok…
He: (glances at the receipt) i guess i just wanted to know your name.
I: (thinking, “you could have looked at my card the whole time.”) Oh. (Glance at the wedding ring on his finger.)
*awkward pause* *sigh*
I: what’s YOUR name?”
He: chester. (a fitting alias to protect the…innocent?)
I: nice to officially meet you, chester. (Grab food and run.) (gotta go change my facebook privacy settings now that you know my last name.)

He: (Leaning across the counter) so you’re grabbing lunch down here today huh?
I: (yes, captain obvious.) yep.
He: that’s good (creepy smile).
*awkward pause*
He: so what’d you do this weekend?
I: floated the salt river. (come on food, be done, be done)
He: oh yeah? you don’t look burnt. (glances downward)
I: (keep your eyes the hezz off me.) yeah, I used sunscreen.
He: did you get drunk?
I: ...what?
He: did you get DRUNK?
I: no. i don’t drink.
He: really…
I: true story.
He: do you have any kids?
I: …what?
He: do you have any kids?
I: nope. um…do you have any kids?
He: yep. one 13 and one 20 months.
I: that’s a big age difference. (teach ‘em not to be creepers, son.) k have a good day. (Grab food and run.) (Can totally see him in the reflection of the glass door as i leave, staring. He better have been looking at my awesome blue shoes.)

speaking of my $5 blue shoes:

speaking of no longer going to the deli…

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

from the inbox

i do love texting. i find it deliciously challenging to be witty and clever in a 160-count of succintness.

i also like it when i make up a word like "succinctness" and discover it's a real word when no red-squiggle line appears.

the point is. the following textconvo just occurred with my elder sister. and i adored it.

she: lunch....turkey, avocado, watermelon, whole grain crackers:

i: that looks delightful! except for the melon. but still looks good.
she: do you like any form of melon?
i: do you like it when 2 pieces of styrofoam rub together?
(note: low blow on my part. she suffers from styrophobia. okay, that one got the red squiggle.)

she: gah! uncalled for!
i: haha sorry...but melon makes me gag. it's up there w/ macaroni noodles. oh sick.
she: how are we related? i love all those things! and...celery...
i: stop that.
she: hahaha, well, anyway, whatever the differences in our produce preference may be i will always be grateful and indebted to you for bringing avocado into my life on nov. 1, 2008.

i: and i will always be grateful you showed up in utah to eat avocado and go shoe shopping the day after my bf broke up with me.
ah, sisterly love.

Monday, August 9, 2010

my houseplant is in intensive care

When traditional methods failed to save my ailing houseplant, I resorted to desperate measures and gave it what I would want if I were in the ICU: 
a friend and a cookie.

If this doesn't help, I'm plum out of ideas.

Friday, August 6, 2010


i'm the kind of girl who, once i find a dish i like, won't even read the menu at that restaurant

commitment, i tell you...

but your eyes don't deceive you. for the first time in 3 blog has a new look

on the verge of my own new adventures...i decided my beloved blog could use a new adventure of its own :)

p.s. i know music on a blog is taboo. tacky. wards off casual visitors.
p.p.s. but the music stays.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Look at me go

A brief recollection of my blogging history:
Began as a forum for posting my news articles, back in my journalist days.
Progressed into an outlet for my random thoughts.
Went through the “Mormon mom” blog phase, where I consistently posted once a month about everything I’d been doing/accomplishing/theorizing in the past 30 days. But seeing as how I only fit half the bill for the “Mormon mom” genre, I snapped myself out of that shlump one day.
From there I migrated back toward the random-thought blogging world.
And today I feel like a hybrid. Because I want to actually talk about my life again. Hold on to your hats…

Well you see, next week I’m approaching my year-mark of graduation and entrance into grown-up land. ONE YEAR. It seems to be true what people say about time going faster the older you get. As my blog may have reflected on particularly emo days (I like to keep those to a minimum), I’ve experienced many of these so-called side effects of grown-up life: memory loss, general aches and pains, angst, wailing and gnashing of teeth, fingernail sensitivity, etc.

Shouldn’t this come with a warning label? Growing Pains?

...Kirk Cameron??

But back to my Mormon-mom-blog kick. In case you were wondering...
Here’s a general idea of what I’ve done, starting w/ last August:
Moved home. Missed Provo. Snapped out of it. Started watching Lost. Job hunted. Job hunted some more. Found two internships. Worked at an ad agency. Worked at the Make-A-Wish Foundation. Bought some grown-up shoes and threads. Took a grown-up trip to Washington D.C. Took a couple trips to Utah. Went to a Backstreet Boys concert. On ice. Moved to Scottsdale. Finished watching Lost, at some point. Switched to full-time job at the Make-A-Wish Foundation. Joined a basketball team. Remembered that I hate playing basketball. But I still love Steve Nash. Seriously considered joining a roller derby team. Joined a dodgeball league instead. Joined a volleyball team. Played a lot of Frisbee somewhere amid everything. Auditioned for a musical “Joseph Smith the Prophet” fireside. Sang the part of Emma in the fireside. Once my voice was back in shape, remembered how much I miss singing regularly. Continue to keep my voice in shape by singing broadway and/or Glee songs in my car. Daily. Bridesmaid round 9. Went through the temple. Fell more in love with the temple. Went back to the temple. Often. Continue to fall in love with it. Speaking of love. I did some dating somewhere in this time period as well. Sorry, my blog’s not juicy (nor TMI) enough for me to elaborate. You can pay for excerpts from my journal, if you really want. Speaking of money. Contract at Make-A-Wish Foundation has dwindled to 4 remaining weeks. Job hunting. Job hunting some more.

I fear that I have forgotten something crucial or important. But let’s not get carried away, kids.

The good news is, I’ve got some majorly cool adventures up my sleeve for the next phase of my life. The other good news is, I hardly know what any of them are.

Cliffhanger, eh?