lately i've been thinking about the idea of deal breakers. i hear/use that phrase a lot in relationship discussions ... Miss Friend says something that bothers her about Mr. Love Interest and i ask, "yes, but is it a deal breaker?"
whether it's nail-biting, bad driving habits, a messy room (guilty, sorry if it's a turn-off), or something deeper or spiritual, we each have buttons we aren't willing to ignore.
Note: there are red flags and then there are quirks. there's a difference.
Quirk Exhibit A: dressing up as quailman at family gatherings. (sorry to any attractive fellas reading this who can't handle it. it's too bad we couldn't work out.)
but in the case of the more important stuff...
first, there's something to be said for looking at the bigger picture and not writing someone off. sometimes you can't color a person by one red flag.
but, sometimes you can. sometimes that flag is red for a reason.
some people say, "look for potential."
then others say, "don't assume you can change anyone."
it can be a boggling dichotomy.
i know i personally have some deal-breakers i'm not willing to forgo. with that said, i've discovered that once i like someone as a whole, some of the little things that i thought would bug me just fall off the bandwagon of importance.
after being married for 3ish years, my older brudder once told me he's noticed that he and his wifey have each changed and taken on each other's best qualities. i like thinking about that.
my conclusion: don't marry someone you wish you could change, but recognize the possibility that you will likely refine each other in good ways.
in simpler terms, rough stones are okay, but not bad eggs.