The scene: a Thursday morning on a bench at a train platform in Palo Alto...
I missed my train by like 3 min so now I get to hang out at the station for a little while. That's ok, it's nice to just sit. I was thinking about a dream I had last night. You know what's super frustrating about bad dreams? You have no control over them. And then it's like you wake up in a funk & have all these negative feelings you didn't have much choice about. I always have stress dreams about things I'm planning (like vacations or events) going terribly wrong. So then I guess it's nice to wake up & realize I didn't actually fail at life. But I'd rather skip the dream in the first place. Or in real life I'm like, "I won't think about (insert boy name(s))", and sometimes I do a good job of it, but then Dream Brain is like "Well how about you live whole wonderful lifetimes with him every night while you're asleep?" It's such a sucker punch. Dream
Brain is a class-act a-hole. Elise just texted me. I really like Elise. Lately I've been thinking about some ways I can improve my social skills. For starters, I want to put my phone down/away when I'm around other people. They deserve my full attention. Second, I want to talk about myself less. When ppl tell me stories & I relate, sometimes I want to tell my own story too. I think that's good sometimes because it can validate ppl to know you've experienced the same thing as them, but just in general, I want to ask more questions & focus on getting the other person to talk. And I really want to listen. I also what to deepen all the casual-acquaintance relationships in my life. Because of church, blogging, etc., I have a LOT of casual acquaintances. I want to deepen those. I want to spend one-on-one time w/ people I normally only see in group
settings. I want to go to dinner w/ an almost-stranger, grab fro-yo w/ someone I only usually make small talk with, etc. I know people tend to fall into two camps: those who need just a small group of close friends, & those who want to meet tons of people, even just briefly. Well, I want both. I want to know a lot of people, but I want to know them well. Obviously it's unavoidable that I'll click more easily with certain ppl & build stronger friendships w/ some ppl & not others, but I also believe there is something to love & connect w/ in every human being. I want to make a more concerted effort to find that in people.
[my train arrived]
Related: Thoughts from...the Apple Store.