Sunday, January 12, 2014

Thoughts from...the train station

This latest installment of my new Thoughts from... series, in which I ramble via pen and paper whilst out and about and then later bring them here, to you. Welcome back to the inside of my brain.

The scene: a Thursday morning on a bench at a train platform in Palo Alto...

[page 1]
I missed my train by like 3 min so now I get to hang out at the station for a little while. That's ok, it's nice to just sit. I was thinking about a dream I had last night. You know what's super frustrating about bad dreams? You have no control over them. And then it's like you wake up in a funk & have all these negative feelings you didn't have much choice about. I always have stress dreams about things I'm planning (like vacations or events) going terribly wrong. So then I guess it's nice to wake up & realize I didn't actually fail at life. But I'd rather skip the dream in the first place. Or in real life I'm like, "I won't think about (insert boy name(s))", and sometimes I do a good job of it, but then Dream Brain is like "Well how about you live whole wonderful lifetimes with him every night while you're asleep?" It's such a sucker punch. Dream

[page 2]
Brain is a class-act a-hole. Elise just texted me. I really like Elise. Lately I've been thinking about some ways I can improve my social skills. For starters, I want to put my phone down/away when I'm around other people. They deserve my full attention. Second, I want to talk about myself less. When ppl tell me stories & I relate, sometimes I want to tell my own story too. I think that's good sometimes because it can validate ppl to know you've experienced the same thing as them, but just in general, I want to ask more questions & focus on getting the other person to talk. And I really want to listen. I also what to deepen all the casual-acquaintance relationships in my life. Because of church, blogging, etc., I have a LOT of casual acquaintances. I want to deepen those. I want to spend one-on-one time w/ people I normally only see in group

[page 3]
settings. I want to go to dinner w/ an almost-stranger, grab fro-yo w/ someone I only usually make small talk with, etc. I know people tend to fall into two camps: those who need just a small group of close friends, & those who want to meet tons of people, even just briefly. Well, I want both. I want to know a lot of people, but I want to know them well. Obviously it's unavoidable that I'll click more easily with certain ppl & build stronger friendships w/ some ppl & not others, but I also believe there is something to love & connect w/ in every human being. I want to make a more concerted effort to find that in people.

[my train arrived]

Related: Thoughts from...the Apple Store.


Unknown said...

I'm exceptionally pleased about being a part of your thoughts from the train station. Like, for real. Also, I like you. Also, #yellowrear

Unknown said...

I like the idea of getting fro-yo with an acquaintance :) I go through the drive-thru of Sodalicious (amazing soda & cookie place in provo) so much that I am starting to get to know all the workers. I introduced myself to Chelsea one day when I'd driven through for a soda after working out (counter productive much?), and a couple days later drove through again and she asked if I've been working out much?

I told her about this place Xtend Barre and said she should go, and she asked when I usually hit up classes? I gave her my name to friend me on FB and now we are going to workout together next weekend. I came home and told my husband the story, and he just shook his head...I do weird stuff like this all the time haha. It's easier than ya think :)


Emily said...

Oh geesh, I love this. I find I fall more into the camp of keeping a small group of friends because any more and it's just draining (introvert alert). But! it can be so rewarding to get to know an acquaintance on a deeper level. The world is such a big place and there are so many people out there that it feels like a waste to only know a few people! This reminds of a guy I saw on Oprah once (how I loved Oprah as a preteen). He was a writer and said everyone had a story, not just the criminals and movie stars, so he went around interviewing ordinary people and finding their unique story. It was really lovely and poignant and has always stuck with me. I'm rambling but thanks for reminding me of this!

Savannah said...

loving this series. but more importantly, good heavens, WHERE are your shoes from?!

Unknown said...

I definitely need to deepen relationships with my more casual acquaintences.

Alicia Snow said...

These are the best. Keep rambling sister.

Budget Splurge Beauty said...

I like hearing your train stop thoughts. But its funny that you mention stress dreams. I am going on a cruise in like, 10 days and a few days ago I had MULTIPLE dreams that I woke up and the cruise was THAT DAY and I hadn't packed AT ALL. Talk about stress dreams. In one of them, we were on our way and I Realized I forgot ALL my makeup. I know that sounds bad but, I'm a beauty blogger, I'm kinda into makeup!! On top of that, I'm kind of into photos. And looking good in them. And makeup and timeless photos go hand in hand. So the thought of me being without any makeup sent me into a panic!
OK I just did that thing where I told my story to validate yours I'M SORRY.

Katie said...

I loved what you said about getting to know your acquaintances better, because I feel the same way. But just know that I appreciated every single one of your stories! Every time.