I titled this blog about life updates and I kept trying to write about my life and was like...."What IS my life right now...." and then I'd be like "I'm hungry" and then "I need to watch more clips of Joseph Gordon-Levitt shaking his tush to Nicki Minaj" and then...you see what I mean.
Socially, we're good. (Outings to 90s music night at the roller rink in a favorite bedazzled shirt, for example.) I mean human interaction in a job way. I'm ready to be around people, in an office again. It's funny because I always used to wish desperately to work from home! The grass is always greener, eh? I think a mix of office and home is probably the sweet spot of career life. As it stands, I spend a lot of time every day with....my kitchen table, my laptop, and Moby the Great White Pumpkin. I miss work friends because work friends are the bomb.com.
Life is good but life is also hard.
...and life is sort of in a rut. I have been working on various freelance gigs (for which I am grateful), and also for the antiques temp job I mentioned awhile back, but mostly....mostly I just still need a real, full-time job again. It's been a little over 4 months since I left my last job, and about 3 months since I moved myself to California. One interviewer recently asked me what I'm looking for in a career and I said without hesitation, "A long-term committed relationship." I've had many glimmers of hope for my struggling career, but none have seemed to really latch on. (Yeesh it really is like dating!) I'm ready to have my feet on something stable.....and you know, get insurance again so I can get my 6-month teeth cleaning. (Oh how I love my 6-month teeth cleaning!) Mostly I'd just like to grab some companies by the shoulders and say, "You and I, we could be so great! Why can't we just love each other!"
I have a hard time blogging about my job hunt for a couple reasons.
For one, potential employers probably look at this blog occasionally. I can't be all complainer-face or I might scare them off. (Hey potential employer! Don't leave me! I'm not a complainer-face!) Second, it gets exhausting to blog about every little possible job thing because then I would ultimately have to blog about each of them not working out. (Another way in which job hunting is like dating, haha.) Third, there's only so much I can write about cover letters and job boards before you'd all leave me for greener blog pastures.
But in the name of transparency and general life updating, there you have it. Freelancing a bit, temping a bit, job hunting and praying for something stable a-lot-a-bit, etc. Occasionally I also deal with my problems like a grownup and my roommate catches me wallowing on the floor. I've had so....SO...many moments lately where I got on my knees to pray about it all and all I could think to say was, "What else do you want from me?" and "Please don't make me do this anymore." I'm straight up exhausted by job hunting and general life instability, but still trying to trust there is a plan/timing/reason to all of it....and trying to stay positive all at the same time.
I really do (even still) feel blessed to be in California, going after this whole thing.
And I didn't expect it to be an easy ride to take a huge risk, pack up my stuff and run away to the (expensive) coast and be a #bravekatie dream-chaser. (Though I did hang two dream catchers on my bedroom door and I think they need to work a little harder.) (*turns around and points at the dream catchers with an I-mean-business expression*) I know these things take work and time, and I've come this far so you bet your buttons I'm going to just do what I have to do -- buckle down and keep going. So if you're the praying sort, or the good vibe sort, or the positive juju wishing sort....send some of that my way. Whisper some secrets into the wind about Silicon Valley being good to my bank account if ya will.
In the meantime, I'll try and stay off the floor and focus on riding my bicycle and hanging my laundry up or something. I might also have a little pep talk with the ol' dream catchers.
This post is bought to you by the letter J and the number eleventy.