Monday, October 7, 2013

In the name of life updates...

I've started and stopped this post like eleventy times. I also love the number eleventy.

I titled this blog about life updates and I kept trying to write about my life and was like...."What IS my life right now...." and then I'd be like "I'm hungry" and then "I need to watch more clips of Joseph Gordon-Levitt shaking his tush to Nicki Minaj" and then...you see what I mean.

I've been craving human interaction lately.

Socially, we're good. (Outings to 90s music night at the roller rink in a favorite bedazzled shirt, for example.) I mean human interaction in a job way. I'm ready to be around people, in an office again. It's funny because I always used to wish desperately to work from home! The grass is always greener, eh? I think a mix of office and home is probably the sweet spot of career life. As it stands, I spend a lot of time every day with....my kitchen table, my laptop, and Moby the Great White Pumpkin. I miss work friends because work friends are the bomb.com.

Life is good but life is also hard.


...and life is sort of in a rut. I have been working on various freelance gigs (for which I am grateful), and also for the antiques temp job I mentioned awhile back, but mostly....mostly I just still need a real, full-time job again. It's been a little over 4 months since I left my last job, and about 3 months since I moved myself to California. One interviewer recently asked me what I'm looking for in a career and I said without hesitation, "A long-term committed relationship." I've had many glimmers of hope for my struggling career, but none have seemed to really latch on. (Yeesh it really is like dating!) I'm ready to have my feet on something stable.....and you know, get insurance again so I can get my 6-month teeth cleaning. (Oh how I love my 6-month teeth cleaning!) Mostly I'd just like to grab some companies by the shoulders and say, "You and I, we could be so great! Why can't we just love each other!"

I have a hard time blogging about my job hunt for a couple reasons.

For one, potential employers probably look at this blog occasionally. I can't be all complainer-face or I might scare them off. (Hey potential employer! Don't leave me! I'm not a complainer-face!) Second, it gets exhausting to blog about every little possible job thing because then I would ultimately have to blog about each of them not working out. (Another way in which job hunting is like dating, haha.) Third, there's only so much I can write about cover letters and job boards before you'd all leave me for greener blog pastures.

But in the name of transparency and general life updating, there you have it. Freelancing a bit, temping a bit, job hunting and praying for something stable a-lot-a-bit, etc. Occasionally I also deal with my problems like a grownup and my roommate catches me wallowing on the floor. I've had so....SO...many moments lately where I got on my knees to pray about it all and all I could think to say was, "What else do you want from me?" and "Please don't make me do this anymore." I'm straight up exhausted by job hunting and general life instability, but still trying to trust there is a plan/timing/reason to all of it....and trying to stay positive all at the same time.

I really do (even still) feel blessed to be in California, going after this whole thing.

And I didn't expect it to be an easy ride to take a huge risk, pack up my stuff and run away to the (expensive) coast and be a #bravekatie dream-chaser. (Though I did hang two dream catchers on my bedroom door and I think they need to work a little harder.) (*turns around and points at the dream catchers with an I-mean-business expression*) I know these things take work and time, and I've come this far so you bet your buttons I'm going to just do what I have to do -- buckle down and keep going. So if you're the praying sort, or the good vibe sort, or the positive juju wishing sort....send some of that my way. Whisper some secrets into the wind about Silicon Valley being good to my bank account if ya will.

In the meantime, I'll try and stay off the floor and focus on riding my bicycle and hanging my laundry up or something. I might also have a little pep talk with the ol' dream catchers.

This post is bought to you by the letter J and the number eleventy.

12 comments:

Camille Millecam Whiting said...

Always praying for you! Always missing seeing your face at work. Maybe we should have EOD Skype sessions so we can feel like we're still chatting at work? I'll even say "See you tomorrow" every day but Friday in which I'll ask what you're doing this weekend and say "Have a good weekend!"

Alicia Hanley said...

Sending good vibes right... wait for it... NOW!

Hailey. said...

So.... I forgot about your blog because I've been loving all your Instagram updates. Don't worry though, I found it again and I am so happy I did! Feeling a little odd that I follow so much of your stuff... but I just think you're so cool. The end.

Siri Baxter said...

Good luck as your search for the "right match" for you you! Job hunting is a pain, but I love that you are following dreams! :)

Emily said...

Girl. This is me from the internet, putting my hand on your knee and looking into your eyes knowingly. Okay, this sounded less creepy in my head but I'm gonna leave it in. Anyway, I've been there. I'm still there in some ways. Have you seen the quote on Sometimes Sweet recently? http://sometimessweet.blogspot.com/2013/08/attacking-concept-of-happiness.html It's so good! I keep thinking about in relation to my own life. I feel like my life needs this big spoiler alert blinking at the top that says, "Surprise, life isn't always amazing and happy."

It's been really inspiring to see you chasing your dreams, so thanks once again for sharing. I'm still learning that chasing dreams is much more gritty than glamorous. James Archer from the marketing agency Forty in AZ tweeted this a long time ago but I was reminded it out of it recently and it's been stuck in my head. "Discomfort and awkwardness are often a sign that you're finally doing the right things. Get used to those feelings. Learn to love them."

Cheers to being awkward and uncomfortable! I'll be praying for you and thinking of you cause you've got some mad crazy talent that needs to be put to good use. <3

Melanie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Melanie said...

Oh goodness, the parallels between dating and job hunting. As if one isn't exhausting enough! Good thing Heavenly Father hears stream of consciousness prayers (which is what mine seem to be lately)

Kerry said...

I remember being unemployed for such a long time. A long time that I won't even write here. And hating it.. until I realized this was a special, unique time that probably would never exist again. And maybe that will help and maybe it will make you hate me, but there it is. Keep trusting #bravekatie! I'll keep looking for jobs for you. Not that I even really know what you're looking for haha but I've got it in my mind I can find one! Those dream catchers.. I think they're about to work their magic any minute now. #bravekatie #bravekatie #bravekatie

Autumn @ The Unreal Life said...

Job hunting is the worst. It's so time consuming and energy sapping.

How did you get freelance work? Any tips?

KP said...

your perseverance is admirable, katie! love you!

Maggie B. said...

Prayers for you! I know how hard this can be - I've been there too, well - minus the whole, moving across the country thing. But, well... you're cooler then me. And braver too.

Also, I got your e-mail. Thanks. I'm formulating more questions for you! =)

Cammie Smith said...

Mmmmm. Yeah. Job-hunting is no fun. I totally agree about the perfect from-home and in-the-office combo. I'm sure you will find something perfect for you! (And wow, that really did sound just like something I might bite my tongue after saying to a single person. But for reals.)