Sunday, November 16, 2014

8 (More) Glories of SkyMall

Oh hey there.

If you follow me on Instagram, you probably know (i.e. couldn't escape the fact if you tried, sorry not sorry) that I spent this weekend on the East Coast! Pictures and tales and rambling to come soon, but for now......YOU GET SKYMALL!!!

You might remember this summer when I shared the 10 Glories of SkyMall and it was....well, glorious.

So, here's 8 more! Enjoy.

1. Towering Inflatable Christmas Tree
Problem: Anything that resembles a fruit rollup should never be towering, unless I can actually eat said towering fruit rollup. Which would be a great party theme, actually. Also, inflatable lawn decorations are pretty much my sworn enemy. (And are those giant m&m's as embellishments? Can it be true?)

2. Holiday Yeti Ornament
My beef with this one is that, as I suspected, the regular yeti is still being offered just a few pages later. I feel like *someone* over at SkyMall is repurposing unsold merchandise. I admire your thriftiness and ingenuity but I'm so on to you.

3. Psychedelic Cat Lounge
Am I required to also fork over money for cat drugs so they can properly enjoy the acid-trip ambience? I mean, what exactly is expected of me if I start with this? Am I signing up for a life of servitude and crime? Is the cat in charge, then? Am I in charge? Are the drugs in charge? Do I even have a cat? Who am I?

4. Adult Plush Balls
Because those three words should never go together.....ever. And secondly, because the description promises that you can "race friends and family" if you own one of these, and, full disclosure, this feels more like a replacement for real friends than a way of actually attracting them. (Unless you pick the unicorn.....then, maybe.)

5. World's Best Travel Blanket
Because please note the "privacy hood."

6. Sleeper Scarf
Suddenly entirely embarrassed that my own scarf doesn't inflate. My accessories are so last year. And what if I ever fall in a river while wearing an un-inflatable scarf? It might just be my ultimate demise. Is there a fanny pack version?

7. Enchilada Baby Wrap
Who doesn't want their baby to look like Mexican food? (Does it come with free sauce and what kind and how spicy?)

8. StarBelt
Will it beam me to outer space. WILL IT BEAM ME TO OUTER SPACE.


emi said...

hahaah k i have no words. zero.

Something Infinitely Interesting said...

Haha these are so great!

Melanie said...

Wait, what's wrong with the wearable travel blanket? It's going to the top of my Christmas list. Also, I think the cat lounge and baby enchilada wrap are hilarious.

Chantel said...

HAHAHAH!! I LOVE these posts so much. Probably one of my favorite posts.

Kelsi said...

You need no other reason to travel due to the joy you bring to your readers with these Skymall posts. Can't wait for the next one! Also, that "Privacy hood" on the blanket reminds me of the Jimmy Kimmel Fashion Week dress...

Unknown said...

I was hoping you'd write about the sleeper scarf. So weird...and yet I sort of want it?

Also I need another baby so I can get that burrito thing. It's hilarious.