Wednesday, February 13, 2013

my thoughts on life at 26

Many moons ago {aka a couple months before my 25th birthday} I went to lunch with a couple dear friends. These boys bought me lunch {did I lead a charmed life? probably.} and imparted to me all the great wisdom they knew in their esteemed, wise old ages {OK they were both only 29 at the time}.

"Katie," they said to me, "25 is going to be your year."

I liked the sounds of that, and imagined to myself all the possibilities it could mean. Career move? Grad school? Fantastical trips to Europe and beyond? Publishing a book with popularity nigh unto Harry Potter? A handsome and dashing husband to sweep me away? 

Turns out both those friends got married first.

But seeing as how they were the ones pushing 30 and did nice things like buying me lunch and giving me life advice, I couldn't help but be delightfully happy for the both of them. And I thought, maybe me-being-25 was actually THEIR year and not MINE? But in all truth, I know it was mine too.


Twenty-five was my year.

It was my year to grow up.
My year to finally love my job.
To love myself.
To write my heart out.
And my guts.
And my all of me.
To go on more dates than maybe the past few years combined.
To finally figure out exactly what it is I'm looking for in love.
To feel 100%, honestly, completely happy with my single status.
To finally stop worrying about when I'll get a ring on my finger.
To stop basing any single ounce of my self worth on my relationship status.
To realize my independence and fiercely embrace it.
To feel an insatiable curiosity and thirst for learning that could keep me up all night if I let it.
To sometimes letting it.
To learn {or start to learn} how to say no.
To close doors when they needed to be closed.
To really face my political opinions and give them names and shapes.
To question longstanding views and realize they needed adjusting.
To decide what people and tasks really, truly deserve my time and attention.
To let go of old hurts.
To feel new ones and really, really feel them.
To lose myself in loving other people.
To feel the stark difference when I forget to do that.
To pray, pray, pray.
To learn more about what a relationship with God means for me, as an individual.
To admire the individuality of other people's unique ways of living, thinking and feeling.
To take risks that scared the air right out of my lungs and to go for it anyway.
To learn to let God and let go.
To feel more trust.
To have more faith.
To feel a growing, abiding sense of peace and purpose.
To ever-so-slowly, but ever-so-suddenly, feel like I finally grew up and finally grew into myself.

And I think 26 can only get better.

14 comments:

karajean said...

I don't have anything to say other than this: I really like this post, and I love your optimism for the future.

Katie said...

can i just ditto what kara said? because that's pretty much exactly what i was thinking.

Alicia said...

i love this post! so great!

Allison said...

Love love love this.

Chantel said...

I LOVE THIS!! :)

Elise Frederickson said...

"To stop basing any single ounce of my self worth on my relationship status." If I could chant that to every high school girl through her entire high school career, I would.
Also, "To feel an insatiable curiosity and thirst for learning that could keep me up all night if I let it."
Somehow, being graduated taught me that I actually REALLY love learning. Why did I think it was unpleasant through a lot of school? All I want to do is learn now. Why is the sky blue? How do I do this? Who invented that? Teach me how to Jimmer. I want to know it ALL.

Erendira Abbey said...

You're extremely inspiring Katilda. Reading your blog has become my daily routine! Thank you. Great post.

katilda said...

Oh thank you! It's so much better than being negative.

katilda said...

yes you may and...thank you.

katilda said...

oh thank you! and thank you even more for the amazing gif which is in my latest post, haha

katilda said...

you just made me think of a song called "love love love" by avalanche city. heard it?

katilda said...

it reminds me of the type of deep, soulful post you always seem to be writing :)

katilda said...

oh that Jimmer part got me. I would teach you if I knew...

katilda said...

oh thank you so much! welcome welcome!