Thursday, June 6, 2013

on apartment leases, job leads and leaps of faith

There's this strange pattern in my life involving apartment leases and leaps of faith.


But to back up a bit, you already know I went on a spontaneous, #bravekatie adventure to northern California for a few days. Why northern California? The idea first got in my head a couple months back after I randomly saw a job listing in the area. I decided to apply and...I got an interview. And then...I got two more interviews. And then.........they didn't hire me. Hrmmm.

But somewhere during that situation, I looked into the idea of living in the Bay Area. Palo Alto, to be exact -- about 30min south of San Francisco. I didn't get that job, but a northern California seed had already been planted. It kind of burrowed down inside me and took root and started putting crazy thoughts in my head. I started applying to more jobs in that area, not entirely sure yet that I even wanted to leave Arizona.

And then we get to the part of the story that you know more about, which is the part where my job went away and so did my condo and so did many of the details and structure of my Arizona life. And so I did the only thing I could think to do: I got on a plane to northern California. I spent money I barely had, knowing that not much more is on its way, moved the last of my stuff into the backseat of my car after several frenzied days of packing and discarding and donating, and I got on that plane. I got on that hooverdam airplane.

Yesterday my aunt told me she admires how brave I am. I told her that I cried on the airplane. I love airports, but I walked through my familiar Sky Harbor like a small lost child, clutching my beloved gray pillow for dear life, feeling like I was leaving my entire life behind. Even though I'd be coming back in a few days, it wouldn't be to the home and job and life that I'd known for so long. I was excited, but I was also terrified. Mostly I just felt very small and very unsure of myself.

When people asked why I was going, I said I had a job interview.

...which wasn't entirely true. What I had was a job lead. Up until a few hours before I got on the plane, all I had was a hopeful job lead, a sent email and a prayer that the person behind said job lead would meet me for coffee on Friday since I "happened" to be in town. Luckily, that coffee date did pan out. And then another interview a few days later. And a lot of socializing and exploring and ocean-finding adventures in the meantime.

Let me tell you about this area of California: it has trees, charming houses, a cool breeze, hippie-dressing people and did-I-mention-the-trees. They line the streets like you wouldn't believe. I couldn't stop talking about the trees, meaning my Arizona was showing all over the place. It was not hard to fall in love with this new town. And somewhere during all of that, I came across a potential apartment and roommate in a really great neighborhood.

Now let me tell you about me and apartment leases.

I have this funny pattern in my life of signing apartment leases before I know all the other concrete details about my life. Once, I wanted to move to a new city but I felt unsure. My best friend already lived there, and she called me one day and said, "I found an apartment. Are you in?" And so I was in, without ever seeing the place or having fully made the decision to go. I faxed a signature for that lease, and just like that, I had made the decision to go.

Another time, I was interning at two places and fresh out of college and unsure what might pan out to a long-term job. A friend called me and asked if I wanted to go to a church activity in a nearby city. So I went. And then she wanted to look around at apartments. So we looked. Two days later, we had keys in our hands.

Yet another time, a potentially ideal apartment situation fell through 3 days before I was set to move in. A girl I barely knew called me and said, "I found a condo. Do you want to be roommates?" And so I signed a lease. I do not have words for the impact that girl, the other girls we lived with, and that last-minute decision have had on my life. That all deserves its own post.

So what I'm saying is, there is this pattern in my life. And I do believe that God works in patterns. Today I thought, "I found this great apartment and new roommate in northern California, but I don't have a job offer yet. What do I do?" And then I remembered that I know exactly what to do. I know this pattern. I know how this part goes. This is a leap of faith my feet already know. 

And so, today I will sign a lease.

I am supposed to hear back from my job interview/lead/coffee meeting in the next couple days. I thought about waiting to post all these other details until I had some news, be it good or bad, so I could at least put a fitting conclusion on this little novel. But then I decided that, no, I want to post it now. I want to post it mid-leap. I want to post it and say that I have a lease in one hand and no job offer in the other. And yet, I sign.

Because here's a truth I know: I've made the best decisions in my life by letting my feet leave the ground when I can't see anything but sky and a long drop below me. And God has always caught me.

26 comments:

:: ashley :: said...

You'll looooooove palo alto. My family is from there it's one of my favorite places. Good luck!

Maggie B. said...

Best of luck! =) I'm sure things will be just fine, and what a neat adventure you are on! =)

Naomi Martineau said...

Wow that is really admirable! I'm definitely one of those people that needs every detail nailed down before making a decision. I know you will do great though! I love palo alto :)

Chrissy Delacy said...

Eeeeekk! You are so amazing. I am so happy for your free spirit and I just KNOW it will work out

Jen said...

You are incredible. I can't wait to hear how this new adventure goes...but what will AZ do without you?

Gretchen said...

I really love this post. Good luck with all your endeavors!

Erin said...

Love this! I am so proud of you! I think more 3 way phone calls are in our future, and maybe a 3 way hangout seeing as how Brittney and I now have a friend that lives in Cali!

shell-bell said...

So fun... I have always admired your ability to just do what you feel you should. My sister just moved back down to Palo Alto and LOVES it. Next time I visit I'll make sure to see ya! Enjoy the adventure.

Alicia Hanley said...

I. LOVE. THIS. When do you leave?? We must visit Casa Reynoso together before you leave me forever.

Priscilla said...

Very powerful quote!

Megan Allen said...

Oh man... You're incredible. Secretly, I've always wanted to do this. Just up and leave. Head somewhere new. Figure it all out when I get there. But then I realize that scares the hell out of me and I don't like change. Maybe someday... GOOD LUCK!

Cassie Traasdahl said...

this is wonderful.

ps- that person you tagged on your insta photo, shane? do you know him or just run into him there? he was my efy counselor when i was 15 and when we went to the oakland temple in december, we saw him there! and then he sat right in front of us at the asu game the next day... haha it was so funny!

Myke Olsen said...

Seriously though, those trees.

Emma Frances said...

You are such an inspiration! I love this post! I feel like Race and I are forever in this stage of not quite knowing where we'll end up next. We moved to Idaho on a bit of a whim after Holland was born and while it hasn't been easy to be so far away from family (and we moved here without a job for Race) it really has been such a blessing for us to be more independent and to really grow as a family. It is definitely scary to make that leap but God does amazing things for us when we do! :]

Harley said...

WHAAAAA so exciting.

Elise Frederickson said...

I might be crying a little bit over your awesomeness. And by awesomeness, I mean faith. (Awesome, awesome faith.)

Nelson Family said...

Woah. Good luck. One time I quit my job and moved to Alaska with two weeks' notice. I later got a job taking little kids on a mission to mars. And I got to see moose out my window. Scary things are fun, once you get through the scary part.

Ashley Allan said...

Ahhhhh, I'm so proud, inspired and down right impressed by you right now!!! One of my favorite quotes goes like this, "to do great things, we must dream as well as act." Lady you had the dream and you acted on the faith that it will all come through. Leaps are the most exhilarating and fantastic times. Savor every moment that you glide through the unknown and once your feet hit the floor, I have no doubt you will continue to inspire those around you to take a little jump of their own!!

Kerry said...

!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh man, I am SO EXCITED FOR YOU. Trust that gut. When your mind starts to chatter, tell it to be quiet. What a great adventure for you :) I swear everyone wants to live this way, but so few do. You are the exception! And guess who is trying to plan a visit to her bff & sweet baby & husband who happens to live a half hour outside of sf? Guess who? Oh that's right, it's me. Potential for real life meetings! Congrats again!

Kelsey Anne Hodgson said...

YOU SIGNED THE LEASE?!!! WHERE WAS THE MASS TEXT TO LARS AND I?! YOU'VE GOT SHE-BALLS, MY LOVE. I'M SO EXCITED FOR THIS NEW ADVENTURE. AND NO, I WON'T STOP WITH THE CAPS. SQUEEEEEEEEEAL!!

Alli @ Allena Mistral said...

I really hope you get the job!! I'm having a breakdown because I'm moving across the country and I have a job. So brave, lady! I wish you luck with everything

indeazgirl said...

I'm with Elise. I almost cried. Because I am SCARED for you. (I also completely trust that things are going to work out for you, but I have NEVER done this lease signing, job next thing...and wow. )
However, I think Palo Alto suits you perfectly and with your talent and moxi (moxie?), I wouldn't worry either.
Congrats. I am so excited for you. Seriously.

Erin said...

YAY! You go girl. I'm doing the same thing in a few months. Just picking up and going (without a degree, though, oops). And this makes me wish I could do it tomorrow. I could, but you know.

I am PROUD of you! I am proud of all the single Mormon women who decide to do whatever the crap we want, because we can.

Ariana said...

I just wanted to let you know that these words were exactly what I needed.
"So what I'm saying is, there is this pattern in my life. And I do believe that God works in patterns."

It was like a big, huge flashing neon sign. Because I have been missing the subtle bits of revelation lately. And those words have played through my head non-stop as I've studied and prayed. And a lot of good has come. So, thank you! Thank you for your faith and for sharing it.

Cece said...

Every leap of faith you have made has brought you to wear you are today and I think it's awesome that you have the guts to do it! A lot of people are positively stuck just because they don't have the courage to make change and it appears that you have that one down! Good luck with the joblead.

brittany t said...

sooo so exciting! what a wonderful journey ahead of you and even now as you will make the transition from Az to cali. you have such a bright spirit and are a great example of faith and trust in God! :)