ah, the legend of the infamous chinese overalls.
it's a sordid tale, filled with mystery, adventure, love and loss.
and maybe a little swashbuckling.
it all began in 7th grade, when i wore overalls every day.
the same pair of overalls.
a girl once asked me if i was poor because that's all i wore.
she clearly didn't understand things of romance and loyalty.
and then, as many good things do, it had to come to an end.
i.e. either i grew out of my treasured trousers, or they fell apart.
and thus the years passed, and i lived on through many fashion choices, some more questionable than others. but there was always a void. there was always a longing.
and one day, i knew it was time. and a frenzied hunt began. high and low, i scoured the internets, and all the most likely and unlikely stores in the mall.
but two things quickly became clear to me: 1. overalls were not back in style yet. 2. i knew, as clear as i've ever known anything, that it was my destiny to bring them back.
and thus, in a fit of desperation, i turned to a hidden source...
the 5th page of the google search results.
and there, my eyes beheld my secret weapon: asian clothing websites
could it be? were overalls already cool in china?
yes! yes it was so!
and after many measurements, and inches-to-centimeters conversions,
and consultings of the asian sizing chart, my destiny was bought and paid for.
and then i waited.
oh, how i waited!
and then, one saturday morning, as i lay in bed and rubbed the sleep from my eyes,
i decided to check the tracking # online.
"arrived at unit," it said. ...arrived!
still clothed in my pajamas, i vaulted from my bed chamber and down the stairs,
threw open the front door..and my porch was bare.
they must be coming with the mailman, i concluded.
and so, i waited...
what joy! what thrill! what exultation!
and this, my friends, is when the plot twists. because as it turns out, the asian sizing chart failed me deeply. and my beloved chinese overalls, they did not fit. i tugged and i pulled, but it wasn't meant to be.
good thing the return instructions were really helpful:
and thus i entered a phase of deep despair and wallowing.
oh here i am:
but after grieving for my shocking loss, i knew what must be done...
...i negotiated in broken english and ordered another size.
a size XL, in fact.
i don't think them asian girls have hips like we do over here.
and then i entered another period of agonizing wait.
but this time with more wisdom and trepidation.
i would not get my hopes up again! not this time!
so imagine my surprise, when my wait was considerably less than times past, and there it was, on one very ordinary tuesday.
and i ripped the package open, barely daring to hope...
look out fashion world...
amazed if you're still reading this,