Friday, July 22, 2011

handcuffs & an oil crisis

i, katie elizabeth hawkes, changed my own oil last night
(ok, so i had some help)
(ok, so someone else mostly did it for me)
(but i was really good at handing things to him...)

things i actually did do myself:
purchased the new oil
(this is key, you know)
pointed out that the innards of a car should be color coded so i could tell what was what
(i stand by this assessment)
wiggled a couple inches under the car before feeling claustrophobic and bailing
made a really good attempt at unwrenching some small metal thing
(if you unscrew with a screwdriver, you unwrench with a wrench right? right.)
poured the new oil in
(only spilled a little)
poured the old oil into the empty container
remarked that the old oil looked like that goopy hexxus thing from ferngully
bought myself a powerade slushie as a reward
(i so deserved that)

but what we really need to focus on is the drama that unfolded in the parking lot while i so adeptly and valiantly fixed my own car
you see, there's this man
and there's this lady
and at alternating times over the last year
i've seen each of them treasure hunting and/or living in my dumpster
this is where it gets juicy:
i now have good reason to believe they are lovers
as i was highly engrossed in and focused on changing the oil in my car
(and/or drinking my slushie and only half paying attention to the oil situation)
i noticed that man and that lady searching for treasures ... together
lovers, i tell you!
and then, as any good drama requires, there was an unexpected conflict
a copper arrived!
pulled right up
questioned them
i have no idea what was said
(i'm not completely nosey)
(ok i so wish i was close enough to hear everything)
and then, handcuffs!
the copper cuffed the man
then the man laid his head on his lady's shoulder
there was weeping
there was some kissing
(really, as the copper just stood there...i'm not sure why he wasn't speeding up the process but maybe whatever spurred the arrest wasn't intense enough for him to stand in the way of a proper farewell. shrug.)
and then the copper put the man in the police car
and away they drove


oh the things i've seen.

(remember that other time i had an intriguing run-in in my parking lot? life is never stale around these parts.)

apparently you're supposed to change your oil every few months
you mean ... every few years wasn't cutting it?
i think God blessed me in my ignorance and let my car keep running
probably a lot longer than it should have...
5 gold stars for the big guy upstairs!


shirley elizabeth said...

(to go right along with the theme, my verification word is "evilamic")

indeazgirl said...

Um. That is an amazing story. I mean, two dumpster diving lovebirds separated by the law? You definitely do not get to see that every day.