Friday, October 7, 2011

G to the chat: lizzie mcguire & horatio magellan

[the only relevance of this picture is that it is currently the profile pic of my co-star in today's blog content]
[...who am i kidding? when are the golden girls NOT relevant?]

when you combine me + the kels + the internets
these are the kinds of things that happen

on a daily basis, kids.

it's potentially out of control.

sept. 28

me:
my chicken nuggets are too spicey
  it's making me sweat and say crazy things
and misspell spicy

she:
do you have some sauce to dull the spice?

me:
i'm drowning them in ranch
  ain't doin nuttin

she:
geez! is it making your nose run?

me:
yessss
  i'm weak

she:
 my nose runs when i just say the word "spicy"
  or when i don't say anything at all.
  it just runs. perma-run.

 me:
when you say nothing at all....
whole new meaning to that song now

she:
alison krauss had no idea what she was writing
  so naive

me:
i bet she's never had a bad nostril day in her life

she: 
and i hate her for that
  but i still totally dig her songs
and voice, she's really quite wonderful

me:
yeah ok, props props
  she's all, "i'm a good singer, i can be insensitive about other people's olfactory conditons"
  jerk.

she:
you know, that's the first thing that happens to people when they get famous.
  it's a curse, really

 me:
michael jackson just got rid of his nose altogether
  voldemort too!
  what gives

 she:
AND ashlee simpson almost did!
  they know something we don't

me:
hilary duff's aim was off a little and she got rid of her cheeks
  then again, she's never been the brightest crayon

she:
no. the most annoying? YES.

 me:
makes movies in which she sings pop at a classical musical school and gets away with it? who knows how!

she:
AND falls in love with a hot guy there?
  THERE ARE NO HOT GUYS IN MUSIC SCHOOL!

me:
he wasn't hot, he had weird hair
  bleached tips?
  post-90s?

she:
that's not hot?
  i've been so blind

me:
FOR THE LOVE OF GORDO, KELS

she: 
 hahahaha no I'm stifling the laughter..
  which are turning into tears

me:
you're lucky; mine's turning into snot
  this conversation just came full circle

she:
all back to the nuggets.
  that needs to be on a shirt

me:
i still have 5 to eat
  I'M NOT READY
  i've eaten 3 and i'm suffering

she:
 HA! only 3?! were they dipped in that awful green spicy death asian stuff?

me:
wasabi?
  no, that's for sushi

 she:
  wasabi sounds like the asians' name for the devil
  isn't sushi the nugget of the sea?

me:
 i......can't think of a single reason why it shouldn't be

she:
 i think we just discovered something
  i don't know what, but i feel like this conversation got really intellectual

me:
on that note, i'm ready to eat another nugget

she:
bon voyage

me:
it's sailing the sea of my esophagus

she:
that actually sounds super fun

 me:
well....you're welcome any time

 she:
how's she handlin'?
 
 me:
swaying a little starboard but holding steady in the galleys
i can't do it
  i can't eat the other 4
  ABANDON SHIP
 
 she:
 none of us blame you, cap'n. you fought as long as you could
speaking of cap'ns. Did you know Cap'n Crunch's whole name is Cap'n Horatio Magellan Crunch?

 me:
is it really?
  can we call him Old Hor for short?


---------------------
...and that's all for today, kiddos.
trust me when i say,
i'm never going to grow out of conversations like this one.

p.s.
is it wrong to post more than one blog within a week with motifs of chicken nuggets and mucus? i'm going to go with a BigFatNo.

4 comments:

Kristin said...

i. love. this. lol. can't. breathe.

Kelsey Anne Hodgson said...

Hahaha I laughed again when I read your Gordo comment. That kid. 'Nuff said.

elise said...

I just died over "For the love of Gordo." I MISS that show!!!

Emma Frances said...

Baha! You guys have the BEST conversations! I laughed the whole time I was reading this!! :]