Saturday, January 1, 2011

feliz ano nuevo

[music: #145, "firework" by katy perry. yeah, she sucks - but it's a catchy song. and it's how i rang in 2011.]

i'm convinced there's a certain age during late-teenage years when you officially "
become a person." you know, when you quit being so angsty and actually develop a real sense of humor and legitimately interesting things to say.

in 2010, i think i became a person.

i mean, i'm not 17.
and hopefully i left most of my initial angst in high school. but let's consider 2010
a formative year for me in new & different ways.

i always love when i read old journal entries and can clearly see how my thoughts/interests have changed over time. i was recently reading through my entries from early 2010, and i was surprised by how
quickly it seems those changes happened this year.

it's true - i'm so much more of a person than i was a year or even a few months ago. i think
bigger thoughts. i love people more deeply. i pursue my goals more avidly. i take risks more recklessly. (i love that i take risks more recklessly. it's my favorite new quality.)

i also worry less about saying the
right things in front of the right people. i don't consider any of my opinions to be classless, narrowminded or unkind. i've thought them out, tested them out, lived them ... and so i'm not afraid of them. and i'm not afraid of people who are.

what the last year brought me:

one full-time cubicle job.
one sucker-punch from the economy.
one modified, part-time cubicle job.
one never-ending hunt for a new job. preferably not in a cube. please, please not in a cube.
one semi-adventure into the world of freelance writing.
one legitimately competitive resume & portfolio.
two trips back to my other home (starts with a U and rhymes with zootaw).
myriad deeply religious experiences. one in particular.
three boyfriends. three breakups. just one legitimate broken heart.
one season in a dodgeball league.
one season in a frisbee league. one frisbee league championship.
one almost-stranger who became a roommate who became a best friend i couldn't live without.
three new roommates. three new best friends i'm getting attached to not living without.
multiple best friends producing fiances, husbands and babies.
numerous strange adventures in my new dodgy-end-of-scottsdale condo.
one half-marathon training program (still in progress!)
one incident with a pocket knife. one frankenfinger.
five stitches. my first.
one service organization of my own founding, organizing, and maintaining.
one wardrobe of grown-up clothes and shoes.
one tendency to wear sweatshirts & baggy jeans less, and frilly things & skinnies more.
(how did THAT happen?)

one brain that thinks bigger.
one heart that beats gentler & more fervently.
one pair of shoulders that are square more often than not.
one set of feet that hold me up much better than ever before.
but one mind that's finally learning it's okay to lean sometimes.

and here i am on the other side. i am now more of "a person," if you will. and guess what?
i like me.

crazy what one year can bring.

2011 ... let's do this. i can't wait to see me on the other side.


Mariah Grace said...

This is your year... you're going to get that husband I've been talking about :) I can't wait to see how you change this year!

The Ballard Family said...

I loved this. I like introspection. And I like when people like themselves and are glad for growth and another year of experiences. I never understand when people are bummed about birthdays. It's like they are sad they lived another year? Anyway, I am really glad it was a good year for you. You accomplished a lot and experience a lot. And all of your accomplishments and experiences tend to do me some good as well. :)
It will be a great year, I'm with you on that!