Monday, February 20, 2012

guest blog: worst date ever

hey kiddos!
today's blog comes to you via zack of easter closet.

oh here he is:

he even LOOKS important!
and he's totally funny and stuff.

anyway, he and i decided to swap blogs today, so go ahead and read about his worst date ever and then head over to his blog to read about my worst date ever.

but with no further ado, here is zack's woeful tale...

The Worst Date Ever

It was a double date--I asked out this beautiful girl I didn't know too well, and set up my roommate with my cousin. Fail-proof date. Fun no matter what....? Right?


We started off going mini golfing (I was only a few months home from the mission, don't judge). We get to the first hole and she decides she is going to kick everyone's golf balls. Funny...kinda.

Then she does it on hole #2.

And #3.

And then decides she is going to jump to hole #10.

Then she hit someone else's ball that wasn't even in our group.

We were done early, needless to say.

So off to dinner. At this point I was just trying to salvage the night. We sit down and she proceeds to start talking to my roommate and then asks him out on a date for the next weekend. My "I'm Done" meter was pretty high right about here.

In a pathetic attempt to add some humor to the date, I mentioned that a sheep truck had just driven by (it had). She incredulously inquired (+2 point alliteration) how I knew that. I teased that I had been in the sheep truck driving union for a few years (I hadn't).

And I kid you not, she responded with, "Well, while we're in the lying mood--I'm having a great time and would love a second date."

Silence. A fork dropped in the other room.

I raised my hand for the waiter. When she asked what I was doing, I told her that I was going to cancel our order. She said she wanted to eat. I told her it was her choice, but I was ready to go.

Then I couldn't take it. I asked, "Okay, if you were to go on 100 first dates, how many of them turn into second dates?"

"How many do you think?" She responded. Not the right answer.

"Based on tonight, I can safely assume, not very many."

I took her home.

The next day she bumped into me on campus and I offered her some advice, "on the house. If you want to go on second dates, you need to treat guys better. That really was one of the worst dates I have ever been on." (I put it gently.)

BUT, in true form of irony, she ended up being one of my best friends. And although she is married with a kid and has since unfriended me on Facebook--I wish her the best and I'm sure she does me.

So from strangers to worst date to best friends back to total strangers...I think in the end, life has its way of evening things out.


neally said...

Well played Oats. I think it's awesome you cancelled the order. Real chutzpah... not that I expected anything less.

Katie said...

Do you find it ironic that he looks like Zack Morris in that picture...and his name is Zack, too? Food for thought.

katilda said...

I never find anything about Zack Morris ironic. I fully expect and encourage him to show up in every available crevice of my life. This might be because of that episode where he brainwashes all the female students to love him. Maybe watching that more than once as a 12-yr-old did something to my yet-uncemented brain matter?

katilda said...

...I just had this really weird moment where I went to Zack's facebook profile pics to further investigate this resemblance and there was actually a picture of Zack Morris in there. I mean, wow, good call Katie.

Katie said...

Maybe he IS Zack Morris. Also food for thought.

Elisabeth Gee said...

Oh my gosh!!! That girl was a brat! I would never act like that on a date. If you want to be treated like a lady, act like a lady! Goodness gracious!

Emma Frances said...

Oh my goodness! I just read both of your date stories and they are pretty awful! So funny though! :]

Crystalee said...

Funny you know Zack! Shouldn't be surprised - he's taken out every girl in the world.