Tuesday, October 16, 2012

why you don't need a man to make you happy (and if you think that, none of them will want to be with you anyway)

Sisters, it's time to buck up!

You know what i'm talking about. The cookies. The chick flicks. The self-pity facebook statuses. The my-life-sucks-without-a-man blog posts. I am here-to-hither-fore-ever-beiber-more cancelling the pity party.

You know what I mean...
when you just know that a boyfriend is what you need, that he'll solve all your problems, that life will be magically better if you have a man. (and magically delicious?)

NOTE: this epidemic can apply to boys just as well. so if you are male and the shoe fits, just reverse whatever pronouns necessary and carry on.

Look, I've been there. I've sooOOOoo been there. But here's a few honest, blunt truths:
1. A boyfriend won't make you happy if you aren't already happy.
2. No man wants to be with a girl who thinks that way.
3. The not-so-vague, semi-desperate facebooking is not helping your case.

Because really, what guy in his right mind would read the following...

"i hate men!"
"why can't i find a good guy?"
"i'm just soooo lonely."
"well, another friday night at home..."
"where have all the good men gone and where are all the gods?"
*insert not-so-vague song lyrics or meme of choice*

...and think to himself, "Gee, she sounds attractive and fun!"

Answer: They don't think that.

Here's a better idea: Get a hobby. Get a job. Read a book. Be interesting. Learn to take care of yourself. Go volunteer somewhere. Be independent. Be happy now. Odds are, your romantic chances will improve dramatically. But even if not, your life quality sure as heck will.

So put a smile on your face,  put down the angsty social media, go out there and live your life. Because guess what? Life is already magically delicious just the way it is.

I'm now giving you all a virtual pat on the bum for motivation


Kerry said...

yes girl! wahoo! i love this! every time i see a facebook status like the ones you posted above, i want to shout (or, er, well type in all caps): You are enough as you are, right now! You are so worthy and wonderful! Go live your life and Love comes to find you! Goodness gracious. Well said woman!

Anonymous said...

Magically delicious. hahaha.

Kylie said...

Haha! I don't think I ever complained on FB, but you hit the nail on the head....in fact, once I decided I didn't want a boyfriend, that's when I met my husband. Go figure.

Katie said...

I just...I just love this.

Chantel said...

Oh my gosh... YEEESSS! Thank you!

flutefairy said...

Along these lines absolutely love this (http://gracefortheroad.com/2012/02/03/idontwait/) blog post. ... it was so, so good.

Elisabeth Gee said...

You're the best. :) Thanks for that, girl! :)

Unknown said...

This is so true. You have to be happy with your life, no matter what stage you are in. Like Kylie, I too had resolved that I wasn't going to be dating anyone during the chapter I was in at the time, but I wasn't down in the mouth about it. I lived up the single life and met my now-husband less than a week later at a party.

I'm not making any promises that the same will happen to others, but the key is to love your life. I am very happily married, but rest assured that there are challenges that come with marriage. These challenges are different than the challenges I faced as a single person, but there are still challenges. (And I'm grateful to have them--I'm not complaining at all.) I'm just trying to reiterate the point that each phase of life has challenges and JOYS. Once each person believes that fact, you can more fully savor and enjoy each phase of life.

Katie said...

Preach that, sister!

I can't handle the woe-be-gone, pity-party, in-want-of-a-man Facebook statuses. Just. No. Such a good point - who desires people like THAT? Not someone that you legitimately want to be in a relationship with. Seriously.

I kicked this pity-party in the butt a couple of years ago. Praise be! I decided that the only person in control of my happiness is me. I focused energy on maintaining and sustaining good, loving friendships with the men and women in my life. Without the ulterior motive of trying to secure a boyfriend. It's the best feeling to seek the joy that is already there. Happiness doesn't come from wishing, waiting, and longing for someone, something, someplace that you don't have.

Keep on keepin' on!

jimmylou said...

this is such an amazing post! this makes me so happy!